my second major attack

had my second major attack from a student, except this time i was actually putting her in a hold, and she certainly got some heavy kicks and punches on me. it's hard not to hold this against her. but i can't do that.
i'm a little traumatized but my boss was really nice about it. i told her about how i get down on myself and we talked about it. i'm feeling a bit better. i really dont want to do the 8-11am shift tomorrow. i know it's only 3 hours, but it feels like forever after being here since 4pm. almost unbearable.

this has totally caused some stress eating for me. i'm disappointed with myself.

i did go out to eat with joel today at a local restaurant because he stopped home to get his car fixed. it was really nice, since i won't see him tomorrow due to my cousin's baby shower, and him working at night. at least i'll have some girl time with alex tomorrow night.

since i'll be eating out mostly tomorrow, i hope i can really keep myself in check. i've gained 5 pounds this month and it needs to stop there. i'm tired of feeling like a fat slob. i didn't go to the gym all week. i've felt too depressed. this needs to end NOW!